My Story

                                                                                                    

…And This Too Shall Pass

Do not fear, for God is my help when I am in need

Isaiah 41:10, 13

Friday, June 29, 2012: A day that has changed my life forever. This was the day the doctor positively identified the mass she’d found as cancerous. I said, “Doc, maybe we should test another sample.” Her reply, “We have already tested three samples and they all came back positive.” I looked at Mike and knew this was a day in our lives we’d never forget. He wanted to cry, but had to be strong for me.

God will restore my health

Jeremiah 30:17

I left the doctor thinking how could that be. I thought I was doing everything right, at least almost right. Right enough that this could be avoided. My maternal grandparents had 14 children (8 girls and 6 boys). Of those 14 children, 8 aunts, 2 uncles and also 1 cousin had cancer, so in the back of mind I knew this day was coming. Six of my aunts, my cousin and my mom had breast cancer, one aunt had multiple myeloma, and one aunt and my mom also had ovarian cancer. My uncles had prostate cancer. They have all, except two of my aunts, lost the battle with cancer. If the doctor would have said I had breast or ovarian cancer, I don’t think I would have been so surprised. However, I was diagnosed with rectal cancer. The doctor explained that this type of cancer was treated like colon cancer because the rectum is also part of the colon. Then it hit me. My dad had colon cancer 17 years ago and he is still alive, acting like he’s 55 instead of 71 years old. That gave me a sense of relief. After all, of all my aunts and uncles on my mother’s side that had cancer, only two aunts are still living. Not great statistics. They suffered far too long. But my dad’s cancer is definitely in remission. Great statistics!! I think I’ll hold on to that.

God is a Healer

Psalm 107:20

I went home that Friday evening and cried. Saturday, I cried. Sunday, I cried. Monday, God spoke to me and helped me realize He chose me for a reason. Although He didn’t cause the cancer, He had a plan. I began to look at this experience as a positive one because He was using me to change the lives of people, as well as my life. I started to feel special. I’ve always told God to use me in whatever way He wanted, and now He’d decided was the time. Be careful what you put out there in the universe. It does come to pass.

Choose to live, be a fighter

Deuteronomy 30:19

My team of doctors explained to me how we would proceed. First, I’d have to have radiation and chemotherapy concurrently. Every day Monday through Friday, for 25 sessions, I’d have to have radiation and take my oral chemotherapy pills. Afterward, I would have surgery to remove the mass and then follow up with 12 rounds of preventative chemotherapy. As my oncologist would continually say, “You are too young to die. We have to take all preventative measures to be sure you are cured.”

So the treatments began. August 6, 2012 I had to have films taken so they’d know exactly where to administer the radiation. On August 14, 2012 I had my first radiation treatment. Eleven radioactive beams were transmitted into my body. It didn’t hurt. You just lie there and listen to some good music vibes. I could even bring my own music if I wanted. I could manage this (so I thought). At the same time I was doing radiation, I was taking oral chemotherapy pills. It was explained to me that the chemotherapy pills helped to stop cancer cells from multiplying, while the radiation shrunk the tumor. I trusted my doctors and did as I was told. One week went by, two weeks went by, and three weeks went by. I began to feel a little weak and lost my appetite. Then the accumulated effects began to happen just like the radiologist predicted. The radiologist told me that after three weeks I would begin to feel the accumulated effects and he was dead on. The fatigue began to set in. It is an unexplainable type of fatigue. It felt like a truck just hit you and you can’t do anything. Luckily, my appointments were set for 3:40pm because it took everything I had to get to those appointments. Sometimes I’d be late trying to get myself together to go. My mom always believed in looking your best at all times. I tried to make sure my clothes were ironed, everything matched, shoes were on point, jewelry accented the outfit, hair was right, and that I bathed for the day. Although I had Mike by my side helping me along the way, it was way too much to focus on. I did it anyway because I could hear my mother’s voice, “When you look good, you feel good.” That wasn’t how I felt everyday. The staff at my doctor’s office was so supportive. They always told me how nice I looked which made me feel good. Later I would find out by Mike and my sister that I didn’t always look so good. I was so weak. On some days, I’d have the help of the wheel chair to get to the radiation table and then wheeled back out to the car. It was PURE HELL. Radiation is for the birds. It zaps EVERY bit of energy you have. But I couldn’t give up. After everything I saw my mother and my aunts go through, I knew the will to fight was running through my veins.

I can find strength in God and His Word

Joel 3:10b

Each week I met with the nutritionist and each week she’d tell me I need to eat. I knew I needed to eat, but I couldn’t. I just wanted to yell, “Lady you don’t think I know this. I’m not doing this on purpose.” My weight loss was finally beginning to show on the scale. At my highest weight, I’d weigh 131 pounds. If you know me, you know this was a lot of weight for me. It took me 20 years to gain 20 pounds, as I like to say. By this time, I was down to 100 lbs., then 98 lbs., and then 96 lbs. I hated meeting with my nutritionist and felt anxiety the day before. So I told her we couldn’t meet every week, this is too much for me. Let’s meet on demand. She hesitantly agreed. It worked for me. I continued to lose weight throughout this process. At my lowest weight, I’d weigh a whopping 78 lbs. Even through this, I repeated my mantra, “I am strong.”

God wants me to live

Psalm 118:17

Radiation and chemotherapy continued for 25 sessions, everyday Monday–Friday. I was happy to see the weekend come because it gave my body a small amount of time to rebuild. I was excited for Labor Day weekend because I got a three-day break. But, I had to finish. I could do this. God didn’t bring me this far to leave me. He always finishes what He's started.

God is for me

2 Corinthians 1:20

Friday, September 21, 2012: Twenty-five treatments were behind me. I did it!!! Now my body could begin to rebuild itself before I had surgery to remove the cancerous mass. I went to see my colon specialist, the one who told me I had cancer. The surgery was scheduled for November 13, 2012. I was nervous about the surgery. I did not feel comfortable being under anesthesia for four hours. But, God is awesome and did not create us with the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. (2Timothy 1:7). I can conquer this feeling and all will be well. I checked into the hospital at 6:00am on Tuesday, November 13, 2012, and spoke with the anesthetist. I was then wheeled into a pre-op room to wait for my doctor. I was still nervous and my body was shivering from anxiety. They hooked me up to a Bair Hugger machine that covered me in a bubble and warmed my entire body. I felt more comfortable. The doctor came and said she was ready. I was too. About eight hours later, while in recovery, I was welcomed by the faces of Mike and Folami. Eventually, late that evening, I was given a room and was then welcomed by Mike, Folami, my sister, my sister’s fiancé, my dad, and my dad’s wife. I felt the love and support.

My surgeon made her way down to my room the next day. The surgery went well and she only had to remove one foot of my colon. It didn’t matter to me as long as the mass was removed and I’d later find out the 16 lymph nodes that were removed were tested and found not to be cancerous. Praise God!!! Time to begin healing again. I lost more weight before the surgery and was down to 80 lbs. Finally, after 5 days, I was home recovering. You don’t realize how much you need your abdominal muscles until you have abdominal surgery. Healing began and I was on my way to recovery. Except…

Agree with someone for my healing

Matthew 18:19

December 28, 2012: I had an appointment with my oncologist to re-confirm the next steps. I had to have 12 rounds of chemotherapy for preventative measures. He wanted to be sure that since I was diagnosed with stage 3b cancer that there were no microscopic cancer cells anywhere else in my body. Besides, I was 42 and too young to die. The treatments were scheduled to be every two weeks for 6 months. Perfect, I would be done by the end of June. Before my treatment, I had to have a port inserted into my chest and connected to my jugular vein for chemotherapy infusion. This procedure went well. Anesthesia is the best. I felt so well rested after waking up an hour later. 


I asked my oncologist if we could wait until after January 13, 2013 before beginning treatments so I could participate in the centennial activities of my sorority, Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. He agreed. My first chemotherapy treatment was Tuesday, January 15, 2013 at 10:00a. This was a very emotional day for me because it brought back the memories of sitting with my mom in the infusion room. I cried before my treatment and was consoled my Mike and my comforting nurse. They understood how I was feeling and did what they could to make this a positive experience. The nurse even gave me a private room. So I sat in the infusion room for 6 hours being administered an anti-nausea medicine, a steroid, calcium, magnesium and the chemotherapy drugs, Oxaliplatin and Leucovorin. This is the chemotherapy regimen for advanced stages of colon cancer. At the end of my treatment, I was hooked up to a pump that released another chemotherapy drug, Fluorouracil, into my system for 46 hours. I went home for two days with the pump attached and would return on Thursday to have it disconnected. Three days of continuous chemotherapy infused into my frail body. It was absolutely horrible. I ended up in the hospital 5 days later. I was extremely weak and dehydrated. As I laid in the emergency room I thought, “Good, hydrate me and let me go home.” But nooo, they found 3 blood clots. Now I had to be hospitalized and placed on a blood thinner regimen to help get rid of the blood clots and keep others from forming. Apparently, the presence of cancer can form blood clots. So I stayed in the hospital for 6 days. Upon discharge, I felt much better. Homeward bound to finish getting through this chemotherapy treatment. I went to see my oncologist that next week. My white blood cell (WBC) count was very low. After my first treatment, my WBC count was 0.0. My body was not able to fight any infections. Other levels that were used to determine if your body was ready for the next treatment were also low. When meeting with my oncologist, he made the decision to spread my treatments to three weeks instead of two. Wait…that meant I would be in treatment for an additional 3 months. My first thought was that I would be in treatment until September. I wouldn’t be able to return to work in August. What am I going to do? I couldn’t worry about that now. God already has a plan for my life, so I really needed to trust Him.

Chemotherapy made me feel HORRIBLE. Treatment two, same effect. No hospital this time though, just the HORRIBLE feeling from the chemotherapy drugs. Treatments three and four, same effect. For my first four treatments I had no appetite. I wouldn't eat for 5-7 days at a time. I'd barely drink any fluids. I was simply, weak. I'd spend the next two weeks before my next treatment trying to regain the weight and add on a few extra pounds. Talk about a roller coaster ride! Time to call in the prayer warriors to agree with me on my requests. As always, they came through. Thankfully, I also had the support of family and friends to help me on an everyday basis. My appetite came back, without the assistance of more medication, which allowed me to tolerate my treatments better. I even started gaining a little weight.

I’d come to find out that chemotherapy had MANY side effects. It causes “chemo brain”. This makes my short-term memory even shorter. I am forgetful and can’t always remember the names of certain objects. So if I'm talking to you and I pause for a moment, it's "chemo brain", not me. Chemotherapy can also cause thrush and distort your taste. Everything I ate tasted like metal, but I still had to eat. I had to gain weight. I was now at 78 lbs. and could not afford to lose any more weight. Although I now had the desire to eat, I ate very sparingly and felt weak most of the time. I remembered P.U.S.H., Pray Until Something Happens. So I prayed day and night, read scriptures and listened to inspirational music. Eventually, I began to feel better each day.

What I say will make a difference

Mark 11:22-23

The more I studied God’s word, the more I realized I had the power to heal myself. Speak positive about my situation, believe I am healed, and let others know how God had blessed me. I spoke strength, power, healing, and restoration into my body. My fifth and six chemotherapy treatments were MUCH better. And my seventh and eighth treatments were even better. I experienced very little weakness, just some nausea for a few days after the treatment. The nausea medicine made me very drowsy, so I slept for about two days after each treatment. Taste was still distorted, but I ate the metal-tasting food anyway. Neuropathy had begun to set in. Neuropathy is when the feeling in your hands and feet has a tingling sensation. This is a form of nerve damage from the chemotherapy medicine.  It’s such an annoying feeling, but it’s not at it’s worst. I can still button my blouses and put on my earrings. So I’ll just deal with it. I was told to try acupuncture. I might give that a try if the sensations get worse. It should go away on its own 18 months after my last treatment.

After my second chemotherapy treatment, I scheduled in-home hydration with the help of my doctor and my insurance company. For 4 days after each chemotherapy pump disconnection, I’d hydrate at home for 4 hours Friday-Monday. I had a nurse show me how to hook up my accessed port to the IV hydration bag. I felt like a pro. I am over the hump, eight treatments completed and four more to go. My last treatment ends on Thursday, September 5, 2013. I am looking forward to this day. A day of celebration!!!

Be confident in my prayers

1 John 5:14-15

I have never prayed so hard and so much in my life. I prayed for healing and believe that God has healed me from cancer. I joke around by saying, “I had a long talk with God and told Him I’m not dealing with this ever again.” For the bible says, "whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth will be loosed in heaven" (Matthew 18:18). I believe He heard me and will answer my prayers. This experience has taught me many things about life. The most important lessons I’ve learned are that I must establish a committed relationship with God, learn to trust Him and He will keep His promises. God has provided for me and my family in so many ways. So many unexpected blessings have come our way. All I can say is God I trust You and You are AWESOME!!!

Give testimony to my healing

Revelation 12:11

This is my testimony. I have shared my story with everyone because it is my responsibility to share how God has blessed me. Although my treatments are not completed, I believe in my heart that God has healed me. I encourage you to establish a relationship with God and He will always “have your back.” I trust Him with my life, because after all, He knew of my existence before I was born. He’s charted my path and all I need to do is follow His order. This is my written testimony to give Him glory for what He has done for me. I’ve learned that God didn’t heal me to go back into the world. He healed me to set me apart. I’m His chosen vessel for Him to live in and to use.